The Boy (2016)

If you like horror movies that make you jump out of your skin at regular intervals, you won't like this movie. But if you like a creepy, strange movie with gothic settings in the present day with a surprise twist at the end, The Boy will fit the bill. 

I couldn't help but find a similarity to Dark Shadows as the movie opens with the newly hired nanny/governess (Lauren Cohan) traveling to a remote 19th century country estate to meet the family she is to work for. Once she arrives, she  meets the fussy lady of the house who addresses her as "Miss Evans." Miss Winters would have been even cooler, but Miss Evans is good too!

Miss Evans chuckles out loud to the dismay of her employers when she is introduced to her charge, who turns out to be a life-size doll of an 8 year old boy named Brahms. She's given a list of rules and a detailed schedule that she is sternly told to follow to the letter each day.

I won't spoil it, but it gets even weirder and creepier until the explosive twist at the end. Very different and very entertaining.

Being Human: The Road

I just finished reading The Road by Simon Geurrier and was very happy with the story and the way Geurrier was able to portray the characters on paper pretty close to their TV characters. I liked the show so much as a late discoverer of the series on Hulu earlier this year. I was disappointed as the actors left the show one by one until the entire cast was eventually replaced. I did like the new cast of characters, but still missed the originals. Rarely is anything ever as good as the original!

The novel covered a few days in the lives of Annie, George and Mitchell as they worked together to unravel the mystery and solve the problem of Gemma the ghost who took up residence in the flat for no apparent reason. Reading the book was sort of like reading a lost episode. It definitely would have made a good episode within the TV series. I'm now patiently waiting the arrival of the second book in the series, Chasers by Mark Michalowski, and hope to enjoy it at least as well as The Road.

Stitches (2012)

Bad clowns are all over the place in movies, but I don't remember seeing such horrid prepubescent children in a clown movie. Rude, swearing and disrespectful, they should have been slashed then and there before leaving Tommy's 10th birthday party. But, traditional slasher movies require teenage victims, so the children grew to be rude, swearing and disrespectful teenagers before being gruesomely and hilariously murdered by Stitches, the evil ghost clown. 

Graveyards are all over the place in horror movies as well, but the graveyard in Stitches was a really cool one; very old, but pretty well maintained with a Gothic stone tower toward the back. What would be housed in a Gothic stone tower protected by an iron gate secured with a padlock that looks like a clown's face? The ritual place of the clown coven or cult and the raw eggs which hold the essence of each clown's soul, of course. 

As the recently risen from the grave Stitches makes his way around the house during Tommy's 16th birthday party sniffing out his victims with the help of his animated red clown nose, he gruesomely twists each killing to mirror the child's despicable behavior at the original party. Very creative, darkly vengeful and plenty of spraying blood and dismemberment. The umbrella as a weapon killing and the "balloon" animal slow kill are over the top gruesome yet funny and really took a lot of creative thinking to pull off.

Typical of teenage slasher movies, we know from the beginning who the hero is and who will probably survive, which allows for the super funny tricycle chase. As humans, there are times when we really want to see our enemies suffer a slow painful death, preferably by the means they used to wrong us in the past. In fact, Stitches' payback killings reminded me of fantasies I've had in the past of seeking revenge on those who have wronged me, or in my adolescent PMS days, simply pissed me off. Of course, common sense and compassion always won out and fantasies are meant to be fleeting, but demonic clowns, risen from hell or the grave or wherever demonic clowns go after death, thrive on chaos and destruction, kill with glee and utter a hilarious remark to cap it off.

A Cadaver Christmas (2011)

If you like low budget horror movies, you might like this one. I love low budget horror movies, but A Cadaver Christmas was so cheesily low budget that I'm guessing the director used the situation to create comedy by amplifying the low-budgetness. The acting at the beginning was so bad; it was like the director grabbed two random guys off the street, handed them a script, told them where to stand and asked them to start reading. I almost turned it off, but let it play to give it a chance.

 The scene that motivated me to watch the whole movie was when The Janitor enters the bar covered in blood from head to toe, goes into the mens room and washes all the blood off his face. He reappears in the bar and his face is once again covered in blood like he never washed it! That cracked me up, so I sat back and relaxed.

Then the cop, Sam Sheriff, entered the bar after being called by the bartender who alerted him to the strange janitor. He was hilarious himself with his exaggerated manner and facial expressions. He looked like a comic book character. 

The drunk guy Tom was so funny with his bottomless flask and sharp observations popping out of  his usual dumb drunkenness. 

Watch out for university labs since they seem to breed zombies as the zombies in this movie also were created much the same way as in the movie Re-Animator. A scientist experimenting on dead human tissue by injecting a serum into their necks, only for different reasons. Fortunately, the team of misfits led by The Janitor were able to halt the spread of the zombies. Or were they?

If you see this movie, make sure you keep watching as the credits roll.

Krampus: Movie (2015)

"Greetings From Krampus"

Cool Christmas card idea! I think the Krampus in the movie was slightly scarier though. His helper toys reminded me of Demonic Toys and the movie made me think of how Demonic Toys might have been with a much bigger budget. The punishment seemed pretty harsh for the little kid having a momentary hissy fit over being picked on and humiliated by his cousins. He only wanted Christmas to be the happy holiday it was in previous years, he didn't want everyone to die!

I thought the movie was pretty scary with just enough humor to release the tension here and there. I loved the grandma character, Omi. She was strong, wise, mysterious and brave as hell. Usually, older people are depicted as helpless and sickly, but Omi was calm and courageous standing firm and facing her fears. She looked Krampus right in the face and didn't flinch. I'd definitely watch this movie again. My daughter announced Krampus as her new favorite Christmas movie, so I'm sure I will see it again!

Scream Queens (2015): Mommie Dearest

Jamie Lee Curtis kicks the asses of the serial killers when they attempt to make her the next victim, sending them fleeing the scene, was so great! Using the Psycho-like shower scene as a prelude to the attack was a hoot too, since her mother (Janet Leigh) was in the original Psycho movie. Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) is kind of nutty, but she was pure confidence and badassness when she found herself confronted with three masked attackers and said, "Bring it on," before methodically overpowering all of them.

Usually, I find Emma Roberts (Chanel Oberlin) has all the great scenes in Scream Queens, but Jamie Lee Curtis definitely owned Mommie Dearest.

Being Human UK: The Last Broadcast

I loved this show! It was so well done and the story is so unique and addicting. I was sad when the original cast members left, but the new cast grew on me too. It's too bad the show had to end, but I really enjoyed how it all wrapped up. The story line never got old and I never saw what was coming. I truly thought Alex, Hal and Tom would die as heroes that saved the world. Now we know why Alex's door never presented itself!

Being Human UK: Season 4 - Annie Saves the World

What a great way to end Annie's story line! I'm so sad that the last original flat mate is gone, but Annie's happy ending provided, at least, some compensation. The implication that she is now free to join her beloved friends who she deeply misses, delivering baby Eve to her parents perhaps, was a sweet finale, as though her brave sacrifice to save humanity from evil vampire domination wasn't enough.

Even though the original flat mates are no longer on the show, the story, character development and the writing is so great that I'm sure Season 5 will continue to satisfy my addiction to Being Human UK.

Being Human UK: Season 4

I realize this show has been off the air for years, but I just started watching it on Hulu this year. Everything about this show is so well done that it's addicting. Even with three fourths of the cast changed, I'm still addicted to the show. It's like a great book where you can't wait to finish it to find out how it ends, but at the same time, you want to read it slowly to make it last as long as possible. I consciously avoid reading anything online that might spoil the ending for me.

Even though I really like Tom and Hal, I'm still missing George, Nina and Mitchell. They were such great characters and all were so attached to Annie and she to them, which was a characteristic of the show that I was really drawn to. It's kind of sad waiting and hoping that Tom and Hal can develop the same relationship with Annie that George and Mitchell had with her. 

I was disappointed that Nina ended Season 3 pregnant, but Season 4 began with the baby in the crib and Nina dead and gone. Although I'm glad I was spared witnessing Nina's death by vampires, it was a sudden loss to the show. There were great opportunities for stories surrounding the birth of the baby; is it human or is it wolf? 

As in real life, there's nothing to do but move on.

Being Human UK: Season 3, Episode 5

I don't think I can express how much I LOVE this show. It just keeps getting better, which raises it above so many other shows that are only as good as the first season and it's downhill from there. This episode achieved a perfect balance of comedy and chilling horror, as George is terrified at a knock at the door after he and Nina abduct a resurrected and apparently amnesia plagued Herrick from the psych ward at Barry, bring him home and barely prevent Mitchell from staking him.

"It's the Jehovahs!" George fears as though no one worse could be at his door. However, Wendy the hilarious social worker has come to interview Nina about taking in her confused "Uncle Billy" who she's identified as such to the hospital attendant who catches her and George sneaking Herrick out of the hospital. No simply slamming the door in the face of Wendy as though she were only an annoying Jehovah! Comedy ensues as Nina squirms her way through lie after lie to convince Wendy that Herrick is truly her sweet Uncle Billy.

Following traditional gothic treatment of madmen and women, Nina, against Mitchell's stern opposition, stashes Herrick in the attic. When there isn't a tower available to lock up your crazies, an attic will do. Unfortunately, the attic at the former bed and breakfast where the happy foursome attempt to "be normal" as George likes to say, already has an evil secret in residence. Mitchell's documented evidence of terrifying violence and killing sprees, yet also his guilty pleasures become one more of Herrick's toys in the attic as he finds it and reveals it to Nina.

As Mitchell's scarred and broken soul reaches out to Annie's pure and loving heart for comfort he spews out a typical line of many abusive and violent partners professing that his love for her is eternal and he can't live without her. Always a precursor to pain and doom.

Being Human UK: Season 3, Episode 1

I'm so happy George and Nina are together! When Nina left George and became involved with crazy Kemp, I was afraid she would die in the chamber like the other werewolves. Thank goodness she didn't!

It was so cool the way Mitchell passed through the door to purgatory with the poor old man that died in the hospital. Saving Annie was very brave and selfless. Lea tried to make him out as totally selfish and evil. I like how this show portrays people as complicated individuals with good and bad traits and, as Mitchell explained to Lucy in the finale of the second season, all made in God's image, whether good, bad, human or not.

Annie's narration at the end of the episode was joyful and full of hope as the four friends celebrated being together again. She said they were safe together, sheltered from the monsters of the world. Like The Walking Dead, Being Human UK sometimes shows humans at their worst performing way more evil acts than what would typically be expected of the undead.

Being Human UK: Season 2, What a Finale!

Season 2 started out kind of sad with Annie feeling a little lost and lacing in purpose, George and Nina on the outs and Mitchell's inner struggle and secret identity as vampire king causing him stress, but it sure picked up and got exciting! George tries to tranquilize his wolf, but putting the wolf to sleep makes it seep out at random times affecting his personality and causing random outbursts or profanity and violence. That idea didn't work!

Annie met some other ghosts, even a baby! She finally found her inner strength when she was faced with her fear of being tricked to go through the door, but overcame those forces several times over. Mitchell "went dry" and stayed strong convincing the other vampires to join him after Herrick's death by George. 

All of those accomplishments went out the window when Nina was tricked by Lucy and Kemp to persuade George to submit to "being cured" at their facility which actually kills werewolves rather than cure them. Lucy seduces and uses Mitchell to get close to George, while Annie wants Kemp, a former priest, to exorcise her from the flat so she can move on through the door. 

Learning of Lucy's betrayal and her involvement in blowing up the vampire meeting, Mitchell falls off the wagon big time, then helps George and Nina escape the werewolf killing facility, losing Annie, as Kemp has her sent through the door against her will. 

The exciting ending has Lucy and then Kemp track the three supernaturals to their new place in the country, where Kemp totally lost what was left of his mind and kills Lucy (thank goodness, she grated on my nerves) and attempts to kill Nina until she escapes by punching him in the balls and breaking free. Annie saves the day (yes, Annie!) by bursting through the door and dragging Kemp back with her. 

Afterward, she speaks to them through an unplugged TV hilariously explaining that she didn't know where she was but she had to fill out forms. The horror!

Vampire Daisy and the vampire Mitchell mercifully saved from execution in an earlier episode, in the final scene, bleed themselves in the snow in a ritual that resurrects Herrick with a howl of energy and victory. It would seem that the new world order is coming after all!

Scream Queens: Mystery of the Hag

Dolls are creeping up all over the place. First, I posted about the movie Parasite Dolls, then I learned that the worry dolls in the movie are widely known and available, which led to my post on worry dolls.Tonight I watched the latest episode of Scream Queens (Episode 3) in which the college students find an empty house off campus to use as a haunted house, already equipped with a room full of dolls, apparently stolen from around the neighborhood by a mysterious hag. 

What does the hag want with all the stolen dolls? Did she really steal the Kappa baby like Grace thinks? Is she connected to all the murders and why were all the bodies in the house with the dolls? Such a mystery!

Worry Dolls: Goodbye Xanax, Hello Dolly

After my post about the Full Moon movie Parasite Dolls (aka Dangerous Worry Dolls) on Hulu, I wondered if there really is such a thing. Apparently, I've been living in some inner realm of my own, out of touch with the rest of the world, because a basic Google search for worry dolls brought me lots and lots of worry dolls. There's even a band called Worry Dolls!

According to several definitions around the web, worry dolls originated in Mayan Guatemala, made from bits of cloth wrapped around tiny sticks and put into a cloth pouch or tiny box for storage. From the many results from my Google search, the dolls are created in a variety of ways, or any way you'd like them. They can be any gender, any color, any type of clothing or hair length. Traditionally, they were the size of matchsticks, but there are even large worry dolls. Large meaning they're 2 inches tall, so you can still stick them under your pillow and not wake up with a neck cramp.

The University of Minnesota even has a page in their Worry Depository explaining the legend of worry dolls, although the legend can be found on many websites. It's cool that the university has a Worry Depository. 

I could use a set of these dolls. As a matter of fact, many of my relatives could use a set of these dolls and toss out those pharmaceuticals. Christmas is coming and so are the dolls.

Parasite Dolls/Dangerous Worry Dolls (2015)

For some weird reason I've been interested in dolls lately, any type of doll. So, when I was scrolling Popular Movies on Hulu, I found Parasite Dolls, also listed as Dangerous Worry Dolls. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it's a Full Moon movie, so I was confident it would be low budget and entertaining like many of Full Moon's vast variety of movies. 

It had its entertaining moments, once the dolls were introduced. Leading up to that deciding moment poor Eva (Jessica Morris) was bullied and exploited by a small gang of cruel drug-dealing inmates, a sleazy perverted guard and the cold hearted warden who had a strong prejudice against "trailer trash." It seemed that everyone is out to victimize Eva, even her aunt who is raising her daughter while she does her six month prison stretch for being the look-out in a gang related convenience store robbery where the clerk was killed. (She only got six months?) That was humorous.

Her daughter, wanting to comfort her stressed out mom, gives her a tiny box with little crudely made worry dolls, the merciful turning point. The legend is that the dolls take away the owner's worries if requested and placed under the pillow at bed time. After Eva is attacked by the inmates, reprimanded and insulted by the warden and sexually assaulted by the pervy guard, apparently all in the same day, she asks the dolls to take away her worries and lays them under her pillow.

The dolls crawl into her head as she sleeps, possessing her with a reckless carelessness coupled with a hunger for violence which she happily uses against all of her oppressors. A bloody, red-eyed doll uses a huge swollen zit in the center of Eva's forehead for a windshield to make sure all of its evil revenge is being carried out. Unfortunately, the dolls eliminated the cause of her worries for that day by creating even bigger ones for the next.

Full Moon has some of the best doll movies on the market. The animation, music and sound are really good. For low budget, direct to DVD movies, Full Moon delivers.

Scream Queens (2015-)

A horror-comedy that stars Jamie Lee Curtis the queen of scream herself. Does anything get better than that? Well, yes, because the show itself is just as good as the trailer promises. Maybe even better. A serial killer stalking a sorority house isn't a new idea, but the cast and the bloody comedy make it unique. In the first episode where we're introduced to "the Chanels," Emma Roberts (Chanel #1) didn't even have to speak as she angrily stomped down the posh hallway of the sorority house followed by her Chanel underlings with a spoiled-rich-girl-been wronged frown on her face. I was cracking up. Something about the way the fur on her shoulders waved back in the breeze of her angry stride. I wonder how many time they had to try that scene before the girls could finish with a straight face. 

When Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) orders Chanel to accept any girl who wants to rush, Chanel is presented with a group of misfits, which reminded me of The House Bunny, especially the girl with the back brace (Hester Ulrich played by Lea Michele), but there's no Hugh Hefner or Playboy bunnies and Kappa Kappa Tu has a reputation for popular rich girls, not misfits. There's no Emma Stone, although most of her characters would fit right in.

The show is packed with comedy led by Jamie Lee Curtis, Emma Roberts and Neicy Nash who plays Denise Hemphill the mostly useless security guard. She may be inept as a security guard, but she's top notch at comedy. 

Rich, useless, frat boys attempt to face off with the serial killer by fighting chain saws with baseball bats. One boy has both arms lopped off with a chain saw and we see his arm holes spurting fountains of blood before he hits the ground adding horror to the comedy.

You can see the show Tuesday nights on Fox, on Fox Now or where I saw it, on Hulu.

The Visit (2015)

I'd heard The Visit isn't a typical horror movie because it's also a comedy. I heard it's part comedy, part horror movie. I also heard there's a trademark M. Night Shyamalan twist at the end. 

IT'S ALL TRUE!

Usually, once I see a movie with a big reveal or twist at the end, the thrill is gone and I wouldn't bother watching it again, but this movie had some really funny scenes and some really creepy scenes and some that were a combination of both, that would make it worth watching again. The kids in the movie, especially the boy, were very realistic, reminding me of certain times when I was a kid, although my grandparents were pretty normal. 

Come to think of it, I was afraid of my grandfather, but that was just me being a wimp.

Being Human (UK) Season 1, Episode 1

Being Human (UK) was ranked the #2 best vampire TV show in an article on metacritic.com so as I had a craving for vampires, I found it on Hulu and watched the first episode. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was listed as #1, but I've already seen all the episodes of Buffy; not recently, but I've seen them. I was tempted to watch them all again because I love that show, but I need to expand my horizons and try new things. 

The first episode of Being Human (UK) is really good and, like The Walking Dead, drew me right in, so I'll definitely watch the remaining 35 episodes. I didn't think it was that scary until I left the room to use the bathroom and expected werewolves and vampires to jump out of the dark corners of the house and accost me on my way by. Obviously, I thought wrong! The most horrific scene was when Annie watched George transform into a werewolf. It seemed so realistic and the expression on her face when the wolf came toward her when she called his name made it even more frightening.

The comedy balances out the horror, sadness and regret that goes along with being dead people trying to live a "normal" human life alongside live humans. George's nervous response to Owen the landlord, and ghost roommate Annie's fiance, when he asked George to explain the noise upstairs was hilarious. The writing and the acting in this show is really good. I hope the rest of the series is just as good as the first episode!

The Last Circus ("Balada triste de trompeta" (original title)) - 2010

The Last Circus is an extremely well made, masterpiece of a Spanish movie that is gruesome, grotesque, disturbing and darkly funny all at the same time. It's mostly a love triangle between a trapeze artist, Natalie and Happy Clown and Sad Clown, but it's also about politics, obsession, social status and human dignity among many other things. I'm sure I would have gotten even more out of the film if I knew anything about Spanish history, especially during WWII, but it was so packed full of psychological drama, insanity and Christian symbolism that it was more than enough to make a strong impression.

Since it's a Spanish movie I had to read the English subtitles, which I don't usually like to do because I start paying more attention to the text than the scene; however, the story and acting was so gripping, I barely remember having read the subtitles. This is the darkest clown movie I've ever seen. Some of the scenes made me laugh because of the intense gruesomeness, while some were just plain funny. There were a couple of scenes that made me almost feel ashamed for laughing because the characters were at such low desperate points in their lives. 

Both clowns were obsessive revenge seekers, intent on coming out on top no matter what the cost. Natalie, the love interest and trapeze artist, was just as obsessive playing the two clowns against each other and getting off on her high-risk provocative manipulating.

A main theme of this movie is the need and desire to win, but nobody wins in this movie.

Jennifer's Body (2009)

I don't know why, but I really like Jennifer's Body. It was definitely more horror than comedy. One reason why I like it is that I'm a fan of Megan Fox. She has a very commanding stage presence and I don't think it's just because of her beauty. There's something about her that makes me pay attention to what's going on on screen. I felt the same about her movie Jonah Hex. I don't even remember what that movie was about, but I remember her. To be honest, I think Amanda Seyfried as Jennifer's best friend Needy had a much better role in Jennifer's Body and is a better actor. She mastered the suspenseful scenes so well, I almost felt compelled to cover my eyes, like when she heard a noise and searched her dark house for an intruder, opening closet doors, etc. Why didn't she flip on the lights?

Another thing I liked about his movie was it reminded me of how cruel teenage girls can be and what joy they can derive from the suffering and humiliation they're capable of. I guess every high school has some real bitches and Jennifer's Body portrayed it pretty accurately. I could see where some of them could be possessed by demons and no one would be suspicious. If it wasn't for the bloody vomit and the dead boys, Jennifer's best friend Needy wouldn't even have guessed. She just assumed Jennifer was PMSing.

Yet another thing I liked was the use of color against darkness, like the scene where Needy ran through the dark streets and through the trees in her red party dress in an attempt to rescue her boyfriend, Chip, from Jennifer. There were a few places in the movie that used this technique.

However, the best part of the movie was the end when Needy seeks her revenge on Jennifer's murderers. It was great that Lance Henriksen plays the nice old man who picks her up hitchhiking, and that she is finally fearless, maybe because of her own partial possession, or maybe because she's pretty much got nothing left to lose. The scene changes to the evil rock band enjoying the stereotypical rock band activities in a hotel room and living it up at the expense of Jennifer and everyone that she killed. 

As the credits rolled it shows the crime scene investigation taking place in the hotel room where the band members were all brutally murdered. This was the only scene where I laughed out loud.