"Cover that tattoo!" Linda threw a long sleeved shirt at her boyfriend, Steve, "I hate it! You know I hate mermaids ever since you dated that mermaid stripper!"
"Listen, babe," Steve tried to stay calm and reasonable, "it has nothing to do with her. How many times do I have to tell you? I like the way she wiggles her tail when I flex my bicep."
"I bet you do!" Linda scrounged through her purse until she found a match to light her cigarette, "you don't care about me at all or you would have realized that tattoo would be a bad idea."
"Now you're gonna start smoking again?" Steve watched her take a long drag of her cigarette, "you were doing so good."
"Oh," she blew smoke toward the ceiling, "well, you can blame yourself for my failure, too. I need something to take the edge off."
"Well, why don't you call the apothecary and get yourself a magic mushroom then?" Steve was losing his patience, "it'd be healthier than smoking. Probably cheaper too."
"Oh," Linda guffawed, "now you care about my health?"
"Sure, I do," Steve said, "don't I always take care of you?"
"Yeah, you drove me to the clinic when you gave my syphilis that time. You probably got that from the mermaid stripper."
"I didn't just drive you," Steve said, "I paid the bill too. You're being unreasonable. It's just a tattoo!"
"Just a tattoo!" Linda stubbed out her cigarette in the kitchen sink, "those things are permanent."
"I could have it removed if I wanted to, but I don't." He moved his arm toward Linda and started flexing his bicep, making the mermaid move her tail. "Isn't it funny?" Steve chuckled.
"No!" Linda screamed, "don't you listen to me at all?"
"It's just a joke!" Steve yelled, "stop going into a frenzy. It's not ladylike at all!"
"Ladylike!" Linda yelled back, "is wagging my tail like a mermaid on a stripper pole ladylike? Maybe I should do that instead?" Linda did an exaggerated hip shake to demonstrate.
"I oughta' oust your ass right out the door!" Steve threatened, "I'm tired of you always giving me a hard time."
"Oh, yeah, go ahead," Linda challenged, "you'll beg me to come back like every other time."
Steve opened his mouth to yell something, but realized she was right and changed his mind as he lowered himself onto the couch in defeat, "You're right," he admitted, "I only want you, not that mermaid chick."
Linda wiped a tear from her eye.
"I won't make you look at my arm," Steve relented, "I'll even wear the long sleeves when you're around."
"Aw," Linda smiled and sat on his lap, "even in the summer?"
"Don't push it," Steve chuckled, "I don't want to feel like I'm a prisoner in this relationship. You wouldn't want that would you?"
"No, babe," Linda put her head on his chest, "not like that time I made you wear that bowtie when we had sex."
"That was weird," he chuckled, "I almost couldn't get the old sprocket to rise with that thing on."
"Well, silly," Linda laughed, "you were supposed to tie it around your neck!"
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