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Friday, October 27, 2017

Picking Up a Hitchhiker

The skyline displayed a beautiful sunset as I drove home from work. As I passed the hospital, getting all the lights green, I visualized my comfy mattress where I planned to land when I got home.

I was almost to the on-ramp for the interstate when I sadly got a red light. My mattress seemed to be calling me telepathically as I waited for the light to turn green.

Then zap! Out of nowhere a hitchhiker was tapping on my passengers side window. I tried to ignore him willing the light to turn green. He continued to tap on the window relentlessly and when he started hollering "Excuse me!" in a loud growl, I couldn't ignore him any longer.

I rolled down the passengers side window, reluctant to interface with someone strange enough to tap on a stranger's window, but I deferred to his persistence even though he really creeped me out the way he wore his Halloween costume two weeks before Halloween.

"I'm heading home and lost my ride," explained the hitchhiker in the Michael Myers costume.

"Are you sure you lost your ride?" I asked, shaking in fear.

"Yes," Michael Myers explained, "We stopped for gas and when I came out of the mens room, he was gone."

"Are you sure you didn't murder him in the mens room and now seek a fresh victim?" I asked, "Your costume is very frightening."

"What costume?" Michael Myers asked, "A beaker of acid spilled on my face years ago and this is my face."

"Oh, how embarrassing," I could feel my face turning red, "How awful for you."

"No problem," Michael Myers replied, "I make good coin at kids' parties."

The light was now green and the line of traffic behind me started honking, so I reluctantly unlocked the door and Michael Myers hopped in.

"Where are you headed?" I asked mourning the fading of my mattress fantasy.

"I'm talking you to hell!" he pulled a butcher knife from his jumpsuit and stabbed me in the face.


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