The new touchscreen workstation made my job a little easier, but it was acting up again. While I waited for IT to finish the repair, I took a walk to the cafeteria.
It wasn't quite lunch time but I was hungry anyway, so I was curious to see if the vendor had stocked something different for a change besides the usual packaged sandwiches and microwave cups of pasta and sauce. I'd eaten so many of those over the past couple of years that I'd developed a strong aversion to them, which severely shrunk my options.
As I stood staring at the familiar racks of brightly colored wrappers, I knew granola bars and chips weren't going to be enough. I moved toward the refrigerated case to see what the offering there would be when I heard a noise like an old-fashioned doorbell. I turned to see where the noise was coming from when I heard it again, louder and closer. Then it repeated as though someone was violently pounding on a doorbell.
Suddenly the door to the refrigerated case fogged up from the inside and then flew open almost hitting me as I jumped back in surprise.
A cold blast of wind blew my hair back and took my breath away as I continued to back away toward the exit.
I was shocked as a Krav Maga master burst out of the refrigerator, landing in a lunging stance prepared to be attacked.
"Where am I?" the master asked me as I stared in disbelief.
"The cafeteria," I whispered.
He looked me up and down and said, "You're not my opponent. You are a frightened little bunny rabbit of a man."
"Yeah, whatever," I couldn't believe my eyes. This isn't what I had in mind when I hoped for something different to eat.
"My opponent was a sorcerer," the master announced, "to avoid my skills, he magically disposed of me like a pan of soiled kitty litter."
"Um," I said, "do you want to use my phone to call a ride?"
"That's very nice of you," he reached for the phone I held toward him with my shaking hand.
"Oh, damn the sorcerer!" he looked at his extended arm and took my phone, "that demon took my sweatband!"
"I have one at my desk you can have. I'll get it while you make your call." I ran to my desk and found my Power Rangers sweatband, ignoring the perplexed looks from my coworkers. "Be right back."
Racing back to the cafeteria, a crowd was beginning to gather as the master yelled into my phone ordering a taxi. I kept running as I snatched my phone and threw my sweatband at the master.
"I'm afraid I frightened that little guy when I emerged from this refrigerator case," the master explained to the crowd. They all gave each other confused looks and backed away from the stranger.
Just then two security guards strode in and escorted the newcomer to the door. My original problem was now solved as I had completely lost my appetite and returned to my desk having decided to skip lunch.
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